saisir la transition
Je n’ose écrire la sublimation.
Je lis des choses que je ne comprends pas. Je les relis, encore, presque à vouloir hypnotiser les signes sur le papier ou l’écran. À force, je sais que des barrières mentales vont céder, et je crois, bien qu’il s’agisse de mathématiques, qu’il est plus question d’intégration que de compréhension. Pas de grand éclair, pas d’eureka soudain, enfin peut-être mais ce n’est pas obligatoire, c’est bien la subjectivation de la connaissance. Beaucoup de latences sont parfois nécéssaires, admettre qu’il faut laisser les concepts évoluer et faire leur chemin seul, sans être consciemment focalisée dessus. Mais ne pas oublier non plus de reprendre régulièrement le chemin des signes, les faire jouer, voir si la route est enfin ouverte, sinon, forcer un peu pour aller un peu plus loin, la route risque de se perdre sans cela. Ce qui hier me semblait totalement étranger, alienisant, éventuellement contre-intuitif, réussit à former un système cohérent et au final tellement intégré que toute cette période transitoire où je me trouvais vaseuse, mal-à-l’aise dans un brouillard conceptuel, elle-même s’évapore. Belle tentation d’oublier cette confusion dérangeante, pourtant est-ce l’occasion de piocher dans ce souvenir-là un salut possible version perdons-nous connaissance ?
Je sais aussi que l’étape suivante serait de se préparer pour le transmettre, même si j’ai peu de chance de mettre en pratique cet enseignement-là un jour.
En attendant, je n’ai pas arrangé l’état de mon audition à la Bascule hier soir, au concert à l’électricité sérieusement enlevée de Napalm Jazz, ainsi que des légendaires Gendarmerie.
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